remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
