rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
