Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
