those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
