Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize