she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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