Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.

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(937): View more from Ohio

oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing

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(971): View more from Oregon

He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.

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(678): View more from Georgia

When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested

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(585): View more from New York

I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.

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(567): View more from Ohio

i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck

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