suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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