Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
