you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
