Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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