Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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