dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
