Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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