My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she woke up with a sticky ear
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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