If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
