I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
