I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
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Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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