Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
