I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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