This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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