yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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