She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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