I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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