I'm really into asian looking animals
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
