I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
even my farts smell like vagina
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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