Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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