"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
