He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
