I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
