dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
bring money and cleavage
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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