so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
