laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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