my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
