We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
