When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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