I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
