You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
