oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize