well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize