Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
