How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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