But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
