i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
