why didn't you poke me back
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
