If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
