I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
