his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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