Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
