I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
