She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Shame - the story of my life.
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