u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
