Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
