He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
