My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
