Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize