It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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