drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
