Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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