see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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